"It's All Too Much! Is It True?"
Doing The Work of Byron Katie In The Context of Divine Love Consciousness
Recently I have been going through the most challenging personal crisis of my life and I've been sharing it more openly and authentically with our Seed Group/Healing Circle then ever before.
(You can gain access to the Seed Group/Healing Circle by signing up for the Loving Bliss of Being Online Program.)
One member remarked on our private Telegram group: "I am so very glad this huge shift has happened. It has cleared a lot of space from the deep unconscious and was totally necessary. It is good to see the human side of you, beyond the teacher. The Guides keep saying all is well and as it should be. Love Love Love."
Another shared: "Me too. I have been going through cycles of pain attached to "I am nothing" and "I have nothing left to give" — tears have been flowing yet I know the answer is within me and will bring me joy and freedom. I feel this is my ego dying and it's ok. I feel so at home within our group and feel hope so I can feel with and move through the tears and pain. You give me the safe space and love needed to allow my ego to quieten and release me from pain and separation. Thank you. Two pointing us all with gratitude 🙏"
And one more said: "Mark, thank you for showing us your pain as hard as it was for you and all of us. The love energy was pulsing with tremendous intensity when we were holding you.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤪❤️🩹"
Sharing More Of My Inner Process
So along the lines of continuing to share more of my own inner process, here is a session I just did with myself and My Guides and Divinity, doing my version of The Work of Byron Katie. Her whole process is essentially four questions and then exploring what she calls turnarounds. It is a way to question the thoughts that are causing your suffering and allow them to let go of you. The whole process is presented for free on her website, thework.com, and she has many ways of guiding you through doing it yourself.
I highly recommend it, especially when done in the Light and Higher Vibrations of the Transmission of Divine Love Consciousness I Offer one and all.
Starting in 2010, I did all of Katie's major programs including the 28 day residential program called the Turnaround House. And then for more the last 16 years have used it in depth with myself and others.
Katie generally suggests starting by getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper regarding one particular issue by using her Judge Your Neighbor worksheet (available in many other languages on her website. She also allows that sometimes thoroughly working one belief at a time (as I do below) can also be quite powerful.
At this point, I most often do the Work as meditation, quietly within my own head. I no longer take the time to write it out but the Guides asked me to write it out and share it this time.
So I sat down with my laptop. Settled a bit. And noticed the first thought that surfaced in my mind: This is all too much!
The Work: "Is It True?"
I sat with it for a moment. Noticed what all it was attached to, all the tremendous challenges I am suddenly up against in my life that feel like they are threatening my livelihood, my freedom, my ability to be me in this world, and more...
Doing the Work on a belief is always most powerful when done keeping a specific situation in mind. This was my specific situation.
So I began to do The Work by asking myself the first question: Is it true?
This is all too much! Is that true?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... As I noticed my whole system freaking out...
Can you absolutely know it's all too much? That You/you absolutely cannot handle this? All that's here now facing you this day? The next small step? The next breath? Is even just this moment and now just this moment, all too much?
Can you feel it softening, even just a little, the terror, the belief in it all being just too much? Clear... Clear... Clear...
It's all too much. Is that true?
Yes. But no, I can't know it is absolutely, completely true.
Good. That's fine. Even a crack of Truth coming through is powerful.
What happens when you believe it's all too much? How do you treat yourself? What's it feel like?
It's hell. I breakdown inside. I feel trapped and hopeless. I feel weak and small and powerless. I feel overwhelmed and suicidal. I want to find a way out but there is no way out. It sucks endlessly. It presses in on me. I have no way to breathe, to be, to live. Believing "It's all too much," just gives me an ever deepening experience of it being all too much.
Is that helpful in any way? Is that saving or protecting you, to repeat that over and over to yourself and press yourself deeper and deeper into despair?
No, absolutely not. It sucks. I hate it. But is it really me doing it to myself?
Well, notice, who would you be without the thought "It's all too much"? Who would you be if you couldn't think that thought, project that reality, create that experience, even if just for a moment? You can always go back to believing it if you really think that's the best choice, but who would you be here now in this moment, just for a moment, without that thought?
Without the thought "It's all too much" I am... I just... Well, things start to settle a bit... Some of the turbulence swirling all around me eases up a bit... I breath a little more deeply...
Without the thought, I drop into Pure Being...
(How to enter and recognize the state of Pure Being is one of the things taught in the Loving Bliss of Being Online Program.)
Neutral but comforting... Peaceful Stillness... I can feel my Life—my Being—Being... I Exist. I'm Aware. I'm Being...
That's the power of a thought: with it, absolute devastation; without it, Peace, Being, Life Living.
In this moment, is it all too much? Just notice...
In this moment, it all just Is... I'm just floating here in Pure Being and Life just Is whatever It Is. It's there. It's happening. But it's all out there somewhere and for now I'm feeling pretty much untouched by it. It's a relief. I'm allowing the sense of relief some Space...
Without the thought "It's all too much" I am just Beingness... Free... Expansive... One... Existence...
And Now It's Allowing the Sense of Love, Loving Bliss of Being Is Awakening From Within...
(Loving Bliss of Being is another state covered in the Loving Bliss of Being Online Program.)
Noticing Now how my little Breakthrough of Awareness Is somehow Being Shared Out with All the World... We Are All Connected. Any individual Breakthrough is a Breakthrough For All...
(Experience and learn more about Breakthroughs in my Breakthroughs In Divine Love Consciousness Online Program.)
Continuing to sit in this Loving Bliss of Being without the thought "It's all too much"...
Continuing to Share this Revelation, this Truth, with All... Doing Nothing; It Happens On Its Own... The Sharing Is Simply Happening of Its Own Accord. And feels Good...
The Turnarounds
Let's turn it around. Remembering the specifics of what originally caused you to believe "It's all too much" let's consider "It's all not too much." How is that as true or truer than "It's all too much"?
Well, in this moment, yes, all those issues to be dealt with are still there waiting for me, but there's a buffer zone around me, there's a Deep Inner Stillness Here, so, yes, in this moment, it's all not too much. I am Handling it for Now. Here In My Beingness, It Feels it is all Being Handled by My Greater Self and Being, somehow, and that's it's okay to just sit in This for Now. That the only Real Way the outer resolves is by Resolving the inner, by Knowing and Feeling the Truth "It's all not too much." And then That Being Reflected back to me by the outer world.
Resting in This some more Now... It's all not too much... It's all just whatever it is but it doesn't have to touch me or affect me or bring me down or cause me anxiety—not when I'm Here Simply Being...
A part of me wonders if I am simply spiritually bypassing.
Are you? Check it... Is This Resting In Your Own Beingness spiritual bypassing or Is It True Resolution Happening? Scan your bodily sensations head to toe and notice what you notice...
I get the sense that this has to Be Helping—internally and externally. Resting Here In Loving Peace Sends out a different Vibration and Creates a different Reality... In This Moment, It Feels Like Resolution, not bypassing anything—Resolving It At The Core, at its point of origin, within my own mind... Eventually the outer world has to reflect this Peace and Resolution back to me...
This is all not too much... Any other ways this is as true or truer than your original belief?
This is all not too much for my Infinite Divine Being. Nothing is ever too much for my Infinite Divine Being, for Who and What I Truly Am. It can only ever feel like too much for my human personality and ego. If I identify as only that and believe that, I experience that—being a helpless separate individuality where things can feel like they are just too much. But as Infinite Divine Being I can never actually believe that. It's just not ever true for My Divinity...
And that's Good to Notice...
It's never all just too much for my Infinite Divine Being... Let me Rest in That for a bit... ... ...
Yes, My Infinite Divine Being is truly Infinite—always more than any particular circumstance that appears to be happening in my human life experience... There's always a Part of Me that is beyond the human experience and the 3D simulation we experience it within. There's always a Part of Me Established in the True Reality, the Divine Reality, Beyond the simulation...
Love... Love... Love... Love... Love... Love... Love... Love... Love... Expand... Expand... Expand... Expand... Expand... Expand... Expand... Expand... Expand...
And It Is This That Brings True Resolution To Any and All Levels of My Being Including the human being... Allowing it to Become My Human Being... This Is The Flow Of Power... More Divinity Flowing Into and Through the human being until It Is A Truly Integrated Human Being Fully At One With The Divine Being...
Can I Allow myself to Rest In This without going back into the belief "It's all too much" and without thinking I need to get up and do something (out of fear) in the world to try to resolve these challenges?
I feel like I'm stretching the limits a bit now. There are other parts of my personality still believing their beliefs and they are starting to surface...
So let's complete the turnarounds. We finish working one belief at a time and then can consider other beliefs.
How else to turnaround "It's all too much"?
It's all too little.
How might that be as true or truer?
It's all too little... Well to my Infinite Divine Being, Everything in a human life is relatively little. The finite is always little compared to the Infinite... A whole human life as Seen from the Point of View of Infinite Divine Being is just a blip on the screen of Existence. Hugely Significant, yes, but also Hugely Insignificant within the Totality of All Things... That's a bit Humbling to Realize but Here It Is...
Can you Allow even more of that Humbling Perspective to Shift your awareness of this life and this situation? It's all too little... In the Greater Couse of Things, it's all too little...
It's seems massive and overwhelming to the ego and nearly completely Insignificant to the Infinite Divine Being, but not in an uncaring way—just the Reality of It... This Is A Perspective I have rarely embraced... I mean, I Notice It's There in Pure Being, the impersonal, neutral Aspects of Being... But Extended Out to Some Place I don't usually consider...
It's all too little... It's all too little to lose sleep and appetite over... It's all too little to take my life over... It's all too little to clobber myself over and over with... It's all too little... Yes, I can feel the Truth of That—it's all too little.
Again, it almost seems too impersonal but I'm really Getting the Part of My Infinite Divine Being for which This Is Totally True... It's Here. It's A Part of Me and My Greater Being. The Part of Me That Is More Impersonal, Impartial, Definitely not human, Completely Unconcerned with what's going on with my human Because It Knows Everything Is For Me, Everything Is Perfect, Everything Is Loving Grace, even the ego going through its machinations of fear and learning and eventual dissolution...
How about "It's all not enough"? Like there should be even more challenge in your daily life? Like that more challenge brings more Focus and more Opportunities to see what you are still believing and to question them and thus more opportunities for increased and faster growth?
It's all not enough... It's all not enough challenge...
Well, I have noticed that I can easily become too comfortable with life and don't stay pro-actively focused on my One True Goal of Reclaiming Full God-Realization in Service to All once again. I do the my Work and Service but when life becomes easy and smooth enough, I end up doing this or that for selfish enjoyment rather than continuing to reach for Full and Total Enjoyment of God-Realization and the Service for All that includes.
Challenges like I'm facing now, challenges to my freedom and livelihood and ability to simply live my life, and the alarms that are set off within me by all of that, that brings me back to complete, moment to moment, Focus.
Since this personal crisis began five days ago, I've hardly eaten or slept, barely noticed the daily news, haven't watched any TV shows or movies, haven't looked at a novel or any other kind of reading, haven't done any recreation. I've been completely focused on finding my Sanity, breaking through the illusions my unconscious beliefs create when still repressed and unquestioned. I've been using every technique and practice my Guides have led me to or shown me directly Themselves including our version of The Work of Byron Katie Being Done Here.
Challenges of this nature certainly bring immense Focus. For me it's literally "Welcome and Process all of this" or "kill myself." That's pretty fucking motivating! That's pushing me more than ever to find the True and Total Resolution that's Permanent: Full God-Realization in Service to All.
So in this way, yes, it was all just too little before. I was wasting this incredible opportunity of human life which is the only place we can advance towards Full God-Realization and Being In A Divine Form with Our Divine Beloved.
It's all just too much. Any other turnarounds?
Only when I believe my unquestioned thoughts do I create the experience it is all just too much.
My unquestioned thinking is all just too much (if left unquestioned).
And, let me try the 360 degree turnaround—the same belief but now as a statement of Freedom and Liberation: it IS all too much...
It is all too much when I believe it to be.
It is all too much when I forget Who and What I Truly Am As Infinite Divine Being always Vaster and Completely Inclusive of anything and everything my human being is experiencing and exploring and evolving through.
It's all too much when I Create That As My Reality but it's only and always just "for a time." It's never all too much forever and ever. That's impossible. It's a temporary imagined creation I only imagine when I think it will be useful for this reason or that, like in order to motivate me towards my True Purpose as in this case.
It's all too much... I notice the statement, the belief, is slowing fading from my Awareness... It feels likes its purpose has been Realized and it is no longer needed here in my System...
In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if it was ever really here at all... Like waking up from a dream, was the dream real when it was only ever occurring within my own imagination?
Waking up from the dream one questioned belief at a time.
If you made it this far, congratulations! Just reading along and considering whatever you found yourself considering along the way has already changed you deeply. And perhaps it is Inspiring you to new Explorations yourself.
Thanks you for being along for the journey.
Infinite Blessings!
Mark
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